The Alcoholic

I'll start with an introduction. I am Tina and I am an alcoholic. I won't go into a drunk-a-log, you all know them. I grew up in a family with alcohol, abuse of every type. The oldest of 3, we all had roles. Mine was to be perfect. Look perfect, perfect grades. I didn't count as a person, just a player in Mom's "perfect" family for the outside to boast about.

Drinking started with my abuser plying me with alcohol, and it ended with him too. I had a nervous breakdown when he died April of 07, my therapist told me, my family thought it was a safe place and I was already sick. I had just been diagnosed Bipolar, and had been treated for anxiety for years. I don't recall much of the next 4 months. I know I got my husband fired for calling his work drunk and saying God knows what, I know I got a DUI, and I know I had my children taken. Sept 4, 07 I was sectioned (there is an article about this in my links). I had been praying to a God I didn't believe in for help and there it was. After being found with a BAC of 0.477 they had enough.

I was not angry (okay in prison I was) I was relieved. I was grateful, and I had my spiritual awakening. I wrote my kids, my husband, apologizing & begging forgiveness. I said I would eat crap if they would give me a chance. Rehab was so emotional, so hard, yet so safe I never wanted to leave. I was facing charges, DSS and everyone with my embarassing behaviors.

I learned a lot there, and followed all aftercare recommended. I was going to do this, despite their warning most of us don't make it. I also decided at that point I was going to be one of them, one of the great people who treated me with dignity and respect. I found most of the therapists were in recovery. How beautiful to work a job that gives back, that you can trully empathize and you can call your client to the mat like no other. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. I knew it would be down the road, but I knew it was my calling. I had never before had direction or goals.

After 30 days I left, and so began my journey.


http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/05/15/for_women_addicts_jail_can_replace_treatment/ is an article in the paper on what happens to someone sectioned in this state. It is my story.